Phantom Bunnies of the Plot Kind
by writers-block-Bgone
Summary: A wide ranging dump spot for all my DP related one-shots where randomness rules! It gets deep, hilarious, and flat out stupid, with like two oo's instead of one u. Lot's of Vlad's psyche, along with other themes that will make you question my selection of this story's title...Enjoy!
1. Media Matters

It's good to be back and writing! Hope you enjoy this...absolutely goofy, absolutely random nest in which I will dump all of my plot bunnies. These two "Episodes" of Media Matters; in which, Danny interacts with anything social or creative that I can make fun of. :)

Don't own DP...this goes for this series in its entirety!

* * *

Media Matters.

Episode 1: "-ad!"

You know what SUCKS about absolutely everyone having a video-phone in their pockets these days? That they can film everything! Embarrassing landing? Poor shot? Bad pun? Hello Youtube! Goodbye dignity…But what's worse, is not what they see you do, but what they think you say.

Naturally, with white noise, distance, and relatively poor audio equipment on hand, people tend to miss-understand the things I say. Usually, they're little things. "OMG did phantome just say *insert curse word here*? But hes a supah hero!? how cud he?" "DUDE, that was totally like, latin or something, hes totally a daemon!" Like I said, pretty harmless. Furthermore, these things usually don't leave the internet. What I mean is, they never end up on TV. Reporters won't get caught on air making those kinds of assumptions, they're pretty pointless.

That is, until they misheard something particularly juicy by their standards…

It all started during a standard spat with Plasmius, only I wasn't calling him Plasmius that day. For some odd reason, I kept calling him Vlad. Maybe I wasn't mad enough at him, maybe our fights are just getting casual, I don't know. What I do know, is that I got elbowed in the throat, punched in the gut, and smacked down to the ground right on my back. Can't really say it knocked the wind out of me, but it did indeed mess with my ability to speak.

"V-ad!" I coughed up, "You get -ack here! Vl-ad!"

"Sorry, I can't stay any longer, Daniel, I have business to attend to," And with FAR too proud a swish of his cape (what is he, like, ten or something?) He was off.

"Vl-, *cough* -ad!"

Too late, he was gone. He does that a lot; taking off soon after the fight begins. Maybe he's afraid of getting worn out? I don't know. Well anyway, naturally, some people got video of the fight on their phones, which they could submit directly to Amity's various news stations online. This is how stations usually get their footage of ghosts. Any quarrel with Plasmius usually gets a mention just because we're the more powerful ghosts around, so I was expecting to hear, "Danny Phantom battles The Wisconsin Ghost, A.K.A. Plasimus, blah-blah-blah." What I actually heard when my parents turned on the news and we all sat down for some "together time," was...

"Danny Phantom reveals the true nature of his relationship with The Wisconsin Ghost. Footage of the scene that took place today showcases Phantom beaten down and injured, several times calling out to him, "Dad! You get back here Dad!"

"WHAT?" We exclaimed in unison. Then they played the clip.

"Oh my gosh, it does sound like dad," I admitted.

"Interesting," My Mom said, "I wonder what happened to cause them to become enemies?"

My Dad jumped up, "Maddie, do you know what this means? It means ghosts can have children!" I felt queasy at the thought, "TO THE LAB!" And with a leap and bound gravity had no right to grant them, both my Mom and Dad were in the basement.

I sat there for a quiet, meaningful moment; turned off the TV and got up to go to my room. Just as I reached the base of the stairs, Jazz came down, "Woah, Danny, what's up with you? This looks like some kind of walk of shame-hey, where are you going?"

I shuffled my feet, "I'm going upstairs to looks up more lonely-cat-man jokes…I'm gonna need a lot of 'em to live this one down…"

Jazz's jaw dropped slightly, "What?"

* * *

Episode 2: "Random."

I'm an easily distracted person; I'll admit it. Little things, shinny things, sparkly things, that kind'a stuff. Random stuff, too. Get's me in trouble, mostly with the women in my life. My mom might say, "Danny, I need you to-" and, that's when the pattern of the plaster on a wall strangely resembles a kitten…I don't even know where that one came from; but an hour later you can bet I'm in trouble for not doing something I swear I was never told to do. Or when my friends and I are discussing an important assignment, and a leaf blows by the window…Yeah I get distracted easily

You know what the worst distractions are? Getting random questions…because the randomness has been taken from my hands, and has been left to the genius of others. You know when I get these questions? When I'm Phantom; ergo, when I'm fighting.

I'm serious, there always has to be that guy, you know, that one guy who just isn't satisfied with staying out of harms way? Yeah, that guy. That guy also usually happens to have a video-phone, and a knack for journalism…at least that's what he thinks. He is also a, 'they,' really, any-who.

Battling Skulker? "Do you prefer blondes or brunette's?" Pummeling the Box Ghost? "Are you wearing underwear?" Yeah…notice 'that guy' didn't ask for my personal preference, just if I was wearing any underwear at all…maybe I should think about modifying my suit. Anyway, fighting virtually ANY female ghost, "That your girlfriend?" That usually gets me pretty distracted, because I have to respond to that…Until one time I met up with Jonny 13 and Kitty, who so kindly responded, "maybe." Oh, the headlines, the headlines! Then there's stuff like, "Can you take me flying?" "Can I feel your arms?" "Can I touch your hair?" Gosh, maybe I really do need to change my get-up. I mean, I don't mind, don't get me wrong; but it's not like I can take them up on it…

Why do I get the feeling Sam actually felt that and is subconsciously giving an inanimate object a nasty look? Why am I even thinking about this? Any-how.

Some of 'those guys,' actually think up a coherent thought every now and again…but those are worse because I usually don't have an answer for them, "how did you die?" "when did you die" "were you ever alive" "can you take that suit off?" Gah! So distracting…and personal…I wonder if I can take my suit off, actually…that might be a problem if I ever do decide to change it-oh, where was I? Oh yeah.

Then there's also the rude things 'that guy' says. "Hey, Phantom! Tell the devil I said hi!" "You coward, come meet my fist!" "If you're so tuff, why don't you just stick around a few minutes?" Those guys are great actually, 'cause people sometimes come to my defense against them and that's pretty cool. They're not nearly the worst, and some people can actually be supportive. "Go get 'em Phantom!" "Deck 'em Danny!" "Go ghost boy!" Heheh, yeah, those are pretty nice, even if they are rare.

Beyond all that, by far the worst have to be the 'Phans' as they've come to call themselves, (which is clever I guess) of these 'Phans,' the worst are the Phan-girls and Phan-boys. They…how do I say this? Write stuff about me? Phantom I mean…its…its so bad not even Tucker can laugh about it. Sam went from uninterested (and not surprised) to just plain horrified. I have half a mind to tell Jazz for her thesis on ghost envy, but I don't think this really applies. Anyway, I think the Phans who do the writing are the same Phans who shout stuff like, "Love me!" "Be the ghost-father of my babies!" "TAKE ME WITH YOU!"

Actually, some of that's starting to come from older men now that I think about it…

…

…

...I'm going to go change my costume now...

* * *

Media Matters, funny bunnies that involve Danny's interactions with various forms of media…maybe more will pop up every now and again, who knows?

You wouldn't believe the state of mind I was in when I wrote episode 2...it was a one-take one-shot, my mind was really thinking that strangely. Hehe, got a follow-up for it too. Maybe I'll get that up in a day or so. In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy the freedom of a one-shot series! Who-hoo!


	2. Media Matters 2

Warning: the following short contains me expressing my addiction to meme's and mirrors some of the dumbest stuff on the internet. If you wish to maintain any form of respect for me…oh, who am I kidding? This is Internet Puns!

* * *

Media Matters, Part 2: Oh, Internet Puns.

So I went on the internet today 'cause I curious about possibly changing my outfit a bit, *shivers* I intended to Google 'Danny Phantom' and browse through the images that came up. The point of this was to find outfit ideas, seeing as a lot of Phan's like to mess around with my look and some of them are freaking awesome. Like, they give me coats and pants loaded with buckles and straps, cloaks, weapons, sometimes new outfits entirely; its pretty cool.

How surprised was I to find most of the images were actually real life…well, photographs, they were photographs of me, a ghost, so by real life I mean…anyway. So there were pictures of me, many of which were cropped with black boarders and text on them.

I clicked one that showed me landed *ahem* over tea-kettle, as the saying goes. It read, "The moment you wanna say, 'somebody just kill me,' then you realize, you really can't."

"Not one of my finest ladings," I said. "I wonder what this is all about."

The next image had me just standing there, a hand on one hip (apparently that's a thing I do) it read, "Tights? Ha! Real men wear spandex!"

"Oh, right, I'm here for outfit ideas…oh what's this one say."

It was in image of me flying, my arms relaxed at my side, and my legs in a ghostly wisp behind me. It read, "Planking. HAH!"

"Oh, yeah, that was a thing," I said.

Another one said, "Danny Phantom: revolutionizing super hero fashion-wear by going black & white, commando and cape-less."

"So THAT'S where all the curiosity comes from! Just because I don't wear them on the outside of my pants...Wait, that is just ridiculous," I said.

Yet, I went on. The next image showed me hopping off to the side with one hand up in the air, "oppa-dead-man-style"

"…Okay…What was I even doing again?"

* * *

Oh gosh…nuff said. *facepalm* Have one of your own? Leave it in a review if you dare!

(Well, no one can say Danny has the worst puns around anymore…Goodness, what is wrong with me?)


	3. If Anyone Ever Asked Danny

Hey look! I'm not making a clown out of myself this time around...That's new for this series. It's a short one, but it's sweet.

* * *

If anyone ever asked Danny, "What feels the most different between being human and being half ghost?" He might say, "It feels heavier," or more likely he would say, "It feels lighter and heavier at the same time." Yes, he might say that. Being half ghost made him lighter and it gave him much more energy sure, but his responsibilities were often a cruel counterweight to these positives. Maybe he would feel just as heavy as before, but it didn't feel the same…

If anyone ever asked Danny, "What changed about you, mentally?" He might say, "I'm much more focused," or more likely he would say, "I feel dizzy and concentrated at the same time." That might be it, if you were to spend any time with him you might notice his wondering, day-dreamy eyes, but if he looked you in the eye, if he was concerned…He focus would be an undeniable thing.

If anyone ever asked Danny, "Would you change reality if you could?" He might say, "Of course. I'd change everything for the worst, and nothing for the better. I may be still just a kid; but I can deal, I've got friends and family by me. I'll be okay. I can be lighter than air, or I carry the weight of the world. I used to be…so confused, but now I have a purpose, a duty, as self-induced as it may be. Would I change reality? Well, if there's one thing I've figured out by this point; if it's really that easy, it's probably just as messed up."

And finally, if anyone ever asked Danny, "Are you okay?" They'd immediately backpedal, "Sorry, standard question."

* * *

Well, had to get one thoughtful one in, after blasting Danny (and myself) with one embarrassing thing after another...I think I've got the goofies out me for now. :)


	4. Birth of Phantom: Part 1

(Part 1 of 2)

The Birth of Phantom.

Part 1: Grudges.

It's hard to discourage a scientific mind. No one knew this more than young Vladimir Masters. For Maddie, he chalked it up to her confidence, individuality, and brilliant mind. For Jack? Eh, it was stupidity. He just lacked the brain capacity to realize when his pursuits were doomed to fail. This is what Vlad had thought; but his perception of Jack as a harmless fool changed and solidified during the construction of their first prototype ghost portal.

The paranormal world was a place mankind was not meant to explore, Vlad had thought, but when Maddie turned her attention to it he jumped on board. He had his doubts, but they were getting results; even some pretty definitive proof that there was at least _something _to all their efforts.

Then the pivotal moment, when the prototype-portal was ready. Jack did something stupid, he must have, because the portal malfunctioned in a way they couldn't have accounted for. A direct ectoplasmic blast to his well-structured face then his skin, his college career, everything that mattered to him had been taken away. He spent multiple years in the hospital suffering with the distortion to his body that Jack so hastily named, "ecto-acne."

During this time Jack and Maddie got engaged and married, Vlad had been recovering in the very hospital where Maddie first brought life into the world…Jasmine, a beautiful name for a beautiful baby girl. She seemed to take from her mother's side, though not quite from her mother directly. Then they moved to Amity Park, where Vlad never even bothered to see their second-born child, Daniel. A warped twist in his mind said, 'Jazz is Maddie's daughter; but Daniel is Jack's son.' He once received a Christmas card of the young family that only furthered this deep distinction. The boy did take after his fathers side, but like Jasmine, not his father directly. Lucky for the tiny tike, Vlad supposed.

So then, Vlad continued to check on the Fenton's on occasion. He was aware they continued trying to create a portal and found such a pursuit to be beyond their capabilities. Then when he learned of their repeated breakthroughs and eventual plans for a fully functional portal he felt…surprisingly insulted.

Of course, Vlad hadn't spoken with them in years and much of their progress in paranormal science went under his nose…sabotage would not have been below his ethic standards if he was aware they had gotten so far. No, his issue was that Jack Fenton had cursed him with the portal they created _together_. It made Vlad question, had they forgotten how much he suffered? Had they even forgotten him? Had Jack forgotten what he did? How dangerous it was? These questions filled him with anxiety as the portal neared its completion. Ghosts and paranormal research, they were...they were _his thing_. Jack had cursed him with powers, robbed him of Maddie, his young years, and now…they would dare to pursue the next great leap in paranormal science without him? He was the epitome of the paranormal! He was the breakthrough, their discoveries meant nothing compared to him!

What's worse, they had the children; both as much Jack's as Maddie's, but still. The thought occurred to Vlad that something could happen to them. It would be morally wrong to allow Jack and Maddie to activate such a dangerous machine within the walls of their own home with the children so near.

Yes, it would be morally wrong…and that is why Vlad allowed himself to spy on the Fenton's and their progress extensively. He gave himself to all their notes, blueprints, looked into their grants, their journals, everything. For the sake of Madeline…and her children. He was going to crush their dreams of creating a portal. He was going to wait until everything was perfect, every last piece put into place…and then he was going to take it all away.

* * *

What is it with me and my fascination with Vlad's twisted psyche? The narrator went a bit Gollum on this one...

Part two in a couple days! I've got a few papers due this and next week, so I'm a little stretched for writing time. :)


	5. Birth of Phantom: Part 2

The Birth of Phantom. 2/2.

Part 2: Solutions.

The one question on Vlad's mind was, 'how do I go about stopping the portal's completion?' for he realized the key was not in destroying the portal, but the Fenton's drive to build it. If he broke it, if he tampered with it in some obvious way, they would only come back for another try…No, he had to make it their failure and their fault. He scavenged their blueprints, racking his brain for some subtle way he could guarantee the portal would fail. The answer came in what Vlad first considered to be the most idiotic feature ever present in the history of man's technological advances (cave-men wielding club's for the very first time included.)

Jack had placed an on-and-off switch…on the inside of the portal.

How stupid was that? Stupid with an,'oo' and not a 'u'? Likely. (If that is not the worst literary pun…) Really though, it was laughable. That is, until he delved into the actual purpose of the switch. It did not actually turn the portal on and off, you see. Rather, it worked to slide in and out of place a lens. This lens, at three inches in circumference, was set in the innards of the portal to magnify the energy triggering the portal's start up. It was like the safety on a gun, when the switch was turned 'off,' the lens was out of place and the portal would not activate under any circumstance. When the switch was set to the 'on' position, the lens was slid into place and the portal could be plugged in and activated. Plugging it in was the actual method of turning the it on and off.

It prevented unwanted activation of the portal and was just outrageous enough to discourage anyone from tampering with it. It was simplistic, outwardly stupid, and poorly labeled, but it did make sense.

So, Vlad had found his sabotage. Jack would flip the switch to the 'on' position and position himself to plug the portal in. Just before he would have the chance, Vlad would slip in invisibly, flip the switch 'off' and the portal would fail. It was fool proof, and it was done.

The one thing Vlad failed to prepare for was the look of pure devastation on dear Madeline's beautiful face when the portal sparked and died before her very eyes. She was crushed…they both were. It was expressed even as they walked out of the basement, looking exhausted and broken. But whatever. The portal failed and that's what Vlad had set out to do. They wouldn't be trying that again any time soon. Still, it wasn't long before Vlad made up excuses for himself. He figured, 'Maybe they'll drop out of the paranormal sciences entirely. Yes, then Maddie can move on. With her brilliant mind, who knows what she could accomplish? That is, if she didn't have the fat-man dragging her down…' That was when a small thought manifested a scar on Vlad's heart, 'Madeline would be better off without him…and even more so if she were with me.'

With that thought, Vlad's anger towards Jack intensified. The injustices against him felt fresh and of greater proportion. He hated Jack. He loved Maddie. He had gotten between them and their work, what was the difference if he got between _them?_ And the children; it would be no different to come between Jack and his children either. Vlad was destroying their professional dreams, why not their marriage? It was the same, he could do it, he had done it already…

Imagine his shock…

"Paranormal scientists Jack and Maddie Fenton, located in Amity Park, made a major advance in paranormal research yesterday with the activation of a device they claim serves as an inter-dimensional ghost-portal."

Fool proof, huh?

* * *

A/N

Looks like someone forgot to unplug the portal…and Danny happened to stumble inside. :) I also like digging into why Vlad waited twenty some-odd years before coming after Jack. I'd say the portal pushed him over the edge and opened a lot of old wounds...

I think I've come to embrace Vlad's gradual mental breakdown…or maybe it's my own...*Dun Dun DUH!* R&R!

-wbBg


	6. What's in a Name?

Just a little quirky story surrounding Danny's name…I like reading into names; traditional names really do seem to say a lot about people, it's neat how they can really fit a person.

* * *

**What's in a Name?**

"Daniel," as a name, is very versatile, I think. I mean, you have 'Dan,' which is fitting for an adult buddy-type guy. You have 'Danny,' which I go by and it's nice for the lover-boy type, as Jazz would joke, bleh. And then there's 'Daniel,' which is good for a proud, strong man, like a general or something…Not quite my motto.

Like I said, it's versatile as a name. How does it apply to me? Well, Dan is the name of my most dangerous enemy (and I refuse to be called by it) and Danny is what my loved one's call me. 'Daniel,' on the other hand? No one I ever liked ever called me Daniel…Obviously, I'm mostly talking about Vlad, but it does go beyond that. Some of my more distant relatives go from 'Danny' to 'Daniel' based on how annoyed they are with me. I know how welcome I am in a conversation based which one they call me, it's that reliable. It's funny though, for as many people who call me 'Daniel' it isn't technically even my name.

…

I think one of the first things Vlad figured out about me was that I really don't care much for being called 'Daniel.' So naturally, that's what he always calls me…unless he's asking for help. Then it's 'Danny' all the way, and "my boy," when he really wants to tick me off.

It came up one time over Super Bowl. Vlad had invited himself over so, well, that was the end my plans for the day. Like I was going let him be in my home without me around, I never know if he's just there to tease of if he means business.

Anyway, for some reason, and maybe it was because my dad was in the room, Vlad kept exaggerating the name. Like he gets some kind of satisfaction outdoing my dad in the enunciation department.

"Daniel," This, "Daniel," that! Ugh, so he came just to mess with me. He is such a jerk.

"It's _Danny_," I'd say, "I prefer Danny, Vlad." "Don't call me Daniel." "Oh, to HECK Vlad, stop calling me Daniel!" I'd hiss, too quit for Dad to hear over the game.

"It's your name, _Daniel,_" Vlad would say. "Why does it bother you?"

That reminded me… "Actually, _Vladimir, _it's not…" He cocked an eyebrow at that. "Hold on, I'll prove it to you," I said.

I jumped up and headed up the stairs, "Hey Dad? Is that old filing cabinet still in your closet?"

My dad took a break from his game-time snacks to respond, "Yeah, Danny-boy, but what do you need from the-"

"Thanks, Dad," I said, and ran up the stairs and into my parents' room.

Yep, it was still in there blocked behind a wall of orange and blue. First drawer, second file…Danny, there it was. I pulled out the file and riffled through the papers until I found the one I was looking for. With a satisfied smile, I brought the piece of paper down stairs.

Vlad gave me a mildly cautious look, obviously unsure about what I was up to or why I was smiling so much. My dad gave me a similar glace, but his was followed by a smile.

"Anyone score?" I asked casually.

"Obviously not," Vlad stated, "you would have heard your father shouting if someone had."

"Wasn't asking you, Vladimir," I retorted, my tone completely lost on Dad, who was far too occupied with contemplating the next set of snacks we were going to have. "I just wanted to show you this…" I held the piece of paper in front of him.

He paused for a moment. "This is your birth certificate? Why are you showing me this?"

"Because," I said, pointing to a specific line.

"Name: Danny Fenton," Vlad read aloud. "I don't-oh, your name is actually just, 'Danny?' Legally speaking, you're just, Danny?"

I smiled, "Yep. So quit it with the 'Daniel' stuff, that's just not my name."

'Game, set, _match._' I though. 'I win this one, Vlad.'

Vlad looked up at me, "Your father filed the paperwork, didn't he?"

I gagged on my own ego, "Gah-well, maybe…" Dang it.

Then the satisfied smirk on Vlad's face! "Well, that just figures, doesn't it, _Daniel._"

* * *

I think we need to start a Danny vs. Vlad score board. Tell me, who's winning so far?

A neat detail I caught from the show; whenever Vlad pleads with Danny he goes from 'Daniel' to 'Danny.' (Mostly when they had to face off with Vortex) And it doesn't even seem manipulative, just automatic.

This blot bunny inspired by my mom, who's name is Cathy…and nothing else. People always ask, "Is that short for anything?" Nope! haha.

R&R!

-wbBg.


End file.
